Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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