For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I supernannyed him into submission
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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