sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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