GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you didnt know i had herpes?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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