Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I didn't notice because vodka
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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