Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
