Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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