Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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