Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
