Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
