i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
