is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
