I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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