therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
