I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
