Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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