my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think people are normalizing furries
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
