is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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