i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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