Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
