I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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