she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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