his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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