Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
