You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
