She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
