I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
