ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
