Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize