There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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