I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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