I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want her autograph on my taint
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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