idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
