Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
