I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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