they need to just BURY HIM!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
