I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
