he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
