the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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