He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
