So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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