dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
