we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
