i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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