My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I didn't notice because vodka
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
