McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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