Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
