the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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