That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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