its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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