Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
