I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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