I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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