I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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