At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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