My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My vagina is very pro this idea
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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