no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize