I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
PANTIES FOUND
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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