Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
